


A Time For Secrets and A Place For Truth

by Stubbornness_and_Spite



Series: Remind Me Why I Fell In Love With Happy Endings [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Conflict Resolution, Gen, could read it as past romance if you really wanted to, familial anxeit, past familial anxceit, resolving old issues left to fester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:21:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24102805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stubbornness_and_Spite/pseuds/Stubbornness_and_Spite
Summary: There were a million ways it could have gone and a million reasons why. Is this the one that happened or just another sweeter lie?But of the two who they knew would speak, only one had a liar's sweet tooth. So let's pretend for just a moment, that this is the place for truth.AKA: Anxiety and Deceit(or is it Virgil and Janus) have a much needed talk
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Deceit Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders(mentioned)
Series: Remind Me Why I Fell In Love With Happy Endings [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1735090
Kudos: 38





	A Time For Secrets and A Place For Truth

**Author's Note:**

> Vague spoilers for POF beyond what is in the summary.  
> Fun fact: I was not planning to make the summary be a weird attempt at a poem but the first line rhymed and I decided to just go with it.  
> I'm trying my hand at a sort of different style that's kind of reminiscent of Hamilton's The Room Where It Happens. Let me know what you think of how it turned out?

There were a million different ways it could have happened and a million different things that could have triggered it, but everyone knew it was coming. 

Everyone knew that eventually the tension between Virgil and Janus(they knew him as Deceit when they first thought it, but eventually, even in their own minds, they started calling him Janus. Some took to it with grace, some with nonchalance, and some with scorn, but they did and it happened and that much none of them would argue with) would come to a head. 

They all knew it. 

If some of them had been a little bit worse, they would have bet on when and where. If some of them had been a little bit better, they wouldn’t have. 

They could have considered their knowing to be speculation, but it was more than that. It was inevitable. 

And since they all knew, it hardly even needed to be said. 

But it was. And it went something like this:

~

“You told me I could never be anything other than a villain,” Virgil spat, advancing on Deceit with each accusation. “You told me I could never be anything but hated. You told me that no matter how hard I tried, the only way they would ever love me was if I was someone else. Remember that? Do you really expect me to forgive you?”

Deceit pointedly didn’t flinch. He looked at Virgil with that patronizing expression that Virgil had always hated, that had tainted the best parts of his relationship with Patton because, at their core, Morality and Deceit were far too much alike. “Because of course, I, Deceit, am a beacon of truth and honesty,” he sneered, nodding. “You should trust every word I say.” He didn’t hesitate. Hesitation was for cowards. “I don’t care about you. Why would I make up what I thought I needed to say to get you to stay?”

Virgil gaped at him, “You, better than anyone, knew how miserable I was.” It wasn’t a confession. There was very little left that Virgil could say to Deceit that would be considered a confession. After all, it wasn’t a confession if the other already knew. “Why would you want to guilt me into staying? Did you really think I would ever forgive you for that either?”

“Of course I did.” Deceit was very still. Virgil knew his physical tells, after all. “I knew you would forgive me for anything I said. I just wanted to hurt you.” He couldn’t keep his voice from softening anymore than Virgil could keep from understanding his true motivation.   
“You were afraid.”

Deceit smiled, giving in to the inevitability of Virgil learning the truth. “Me? Never.”

Anxiety scoffed, “I’m Fear as much as you are Deception,” he whispered. “I know when someone’s afraid.” He let his voice grow stronger and gave away one of his last confessions. “I couldn’t tell before because I was so afraid all the time.” He thought he knew all there was and how much he should fear it. He thought he knew the truth, but Deceit always had been good at his job. “What did you have to be afraid of?”

Deceit let his voice shake and his breath catch. There was a time for secrets and a place for truth. This was not the time but it was the place. “I was absolutely not afraid of being alone,” he lied. The truth scared him, far more than he would admit and even as he gave away his secrets, Deceit clung to the security of lies. They always did taste sweeter and sound better. “I wanted you to leave and I wanted to do my job without you there to get in the way. You really did me a favor, so thanks, Anxiety.”

“Falling back into old habits?” Anxiety taunted.

Deceit scoffed. “Like you’re not.”

Virgil took a breath and burst out, “I’m sorry I hurt you, Dee, but I won’t apologize for picking myself for once and leaving.”

Deceit laughed, long, loud, and uncensored. “Selfishness is awful and unhealthy, remember, Anxiety? I really can’t forgive you for it.” He frowned. “I never could stand you and I still hate you. I don’t trust you,” he choked out. Deceit stopped and shook his head. It was the place for truth. It was time to stop relying on what kept him safe before. It was time to stop being afraid. “I should have trusted you more. Virgil, I should have trusted you. I shouldn’t have taken your name and never offered mine.” 

“Deceit. Stop.” Virgil lunged forward and grabbed his wrists, pinning him but making sure that his grip stayed on top of Deceit’s gloves and didn’t brush his skin. “You trusted me in the ways that mattered as far as you could.” They had never had a healthy relationship. They had never been able to trust each other unconditionally. It would do them no good now to pretend that they had ever acted in anything other than their own self-interest. “Keep your name. I always wanted to give you mine anyway but once there was nothing you could do with it, we weren’t talking anymore.” There was no point in pretending they had been something they weren’t, but there was no point in pretending that was all they could ever be either. “Tell me when you’re ready and if you want to tell anyone or everyone else first, then do it.”

“Thank you,” Deceit breathed out. “I wish I was ready to trust you more.”

Virgil smiled a bit. “Truth,” he accused.

“I really did love you, Anxiety. Not in the way you needed or the way that Patton and the others can or even unconditionally, but I did love you.”

Virgil ducked his head, biting back a laugh. “Yeah, Dee,” he said, letting go of his final confession, “Me too.”

~

None of them knew exactly why it happened because the only two who were there didn’t care to share, but they all knew that it happened and (to varying degrees of accuracy) how it happened. 

Patton would insist it was after that first breakfast, when Roman was still hurting and Janus was still hesitant. 

Logan would think that it happened before that, that the conversation between the two former friends had been what spurred Janus to reveal his name to them in the first place. 

Roman would declare that he didn’t care when or why it happened, but privately, he and Remus agreed that it probably happened after Roman and Janus mended fences because Virgil was far more loyal to Roman than he ever was to Janus. Neither of them thought that was a bad thing or a good thing, but they agreed on it. 

Janus claimed it never happened at all. 

Virgil would admit it happened, but nothing more, only shooting Janus a look if pressed and biting back a smile.


End file.
